General13 September 2006 / 22:50

I haven’t consumed a Pot Noodle in a very long time, and the last time I did I could hardly finish it, it was that bad. For a man brought up on solidly traditional British cuisine this came as something of a shock.

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I followed the instructions to the letter on a Pot Noddle (edit: Noddle, heh!) - Beef and Tomato flavour, to be exact. Anyway, I heats up the kettle and ‘prepared’ the dog’s breakfast of a mixture. When the makers of this foul garbage declared it ‘finished’ on the packet, I gave the end product a smell. Let me tell you, the stench of this stuff was bad enough. Tasting it was even worse. It’s just like heated up, mushy cardboard. There’s precisely zero taste to it at all - absolutely nothing like either beef or tomato. Absolutely disgusting. I was hungry at the time but this has to be one of the few major brand products that makes you feel worse after you’ve ingested it! I mean, you’d have thought that the producers of ultra-fast food would have gone some way already to improving the taste, but no.

Can any of my many loyal readers pick out any more examples of foods that are utterly appalling but appear to be quite popular? Answers on a postcard, please.

General, Photography27 August 2006 / 17:15

Duh-dum. Duh-dum.

Well, I’ve finally got round to it. Here’s my entry on the Isle of Man on the Images of Lancashire photoblog.

General26 August 2006 / 23:01

Got back from a two-day break in the Isle of Man late last night. I thought it was a nice, sedate, rather inoffensive place. Pictures will (eventually) be provided when I can get round to it.

General22 August 2006 / 16:36

Just a quick note to say that tomorrow I shall be on the ferry to the Isle of Man for two nights. Hopefully I shall have a grand owd time with plenty of pictures to show of the Island when I get back to Lancashire.

Until Friday, toodle pip!

General23 July 2006 / 13:23

Here’s part one of the selection of images I took while I was in Poland. Next up is the Masurian lakes.

General22 July 2006 / 14:39

Cześć!

Just a quick note to say I returned yesterday from my holiday in Poland.

Well, I’m back. Yes, from my holidays! Yes, in Poland. Where it was it very hot. Just like in England. An unusually hot July, it was about 30-34ºC (86-93ºF) but on occasion it did reach as high as 36ºC (97ºF). Apparently it was pretty much the same at home and it’s still hot today.

I met with some Polish friends of ours who are living locally in the UK. We flew into Katowice airport on the 9 July after a two-hour flight from Liverpool airport on Wizz Air, a low-cost Polish/Hungarian airline that serves Central and Eastern Europe. There are good points and bad points about this airline - the good points are that it’s cheap and the seats are not that uncomfortable. The bad points are that it’s very basic (but then who really needs patronising crap dished up as ‘in-flight entertainment? Just take a book with you); the organised chaos at the check-in desks (at Warsaw airport you had one queue for three flights) and on the flight itself (it’s every man for himself on there: if you can’t sit with your family, hard luck).

Anyway, we went right across Poland - right down from Kraków in the far south not far from the border with Slovakia. Krakow was a really beautiful city. We spent three days pottering about there: drinking vodka and beer, talking and seeing things. I saw the salt mines and Auschwitz: a seriously grim place, as you’d probably expect. It’s not like the large place you see on TV or anything like that. It’s huge. Seriously huge. If you ever get the chance to go to Poland, you must go and see it - even though that, at the time, my legs and feet were killing me and I didn’t see the very worst bits like the gas chambers.

And almost nobody in Poland outside of the big cities of Warszawa, Kraków and Gdańsk speaks any English. So if you were coming on your own without an interpreter you’d have to stick to the main cities.

Oh, and let me tell you that in Poland, the roads are not pretty. They are absolutely appalling and I think many Poles are embarrassed at their state, especially when they can go over the border to Germany and they have such nice roads. They have a 20-mile stretch of motorway for the entire country. And they charge you 6,50 zł every few miles. And Polish drivers are insane - not considerate at all; it’s very much “every man for himself” out there. If the speed limit’s 65mph, they’ll drive at 100mph.

The day after, we went on an eight-hour drive from Kraków right in the south of the country to the Masurian lakes (an area of Poland which has several thousand lakes - like the English Lake District but much larger). Anyway, we spent seven days at the Masurian lakes, much of the time doing very little apart from eating traditional Polish food like kiełbasa, spicy pork and chicken (both on and off the barbie!), drinking (oh yes, plenty of that - both vodka and the local beer, Tyskie) and talking. Three rounds of friends and family turned up to stay anything from a few hours to a couple of days. I went to see the cities of Gdańsk and Sopot. Sopot is a beach resort - a bit like the Polish version of Blackpool in some ways. It’s a nice place to have a look round, but Gdańsk was much nicer. You see more German tourists and car number plates up that end of the country.

Finally, we went down to Żyrardów which is a town in central Poland where my friends have a property for the last two days, where we stopped at one of my friend’s mother’s apartments. More eating and imbibing thus ensued.

And that’s pretty much it. I wouldn’t really say I had an holiday and that I relaxed - it was more of an educational experience infused with lashings of good food and drink and boiling weather. Which, at the end of the day, can’t be all bad.

I may post some photos of my trip on the photoblog later.

General8 July 2006 / 12:25

Yes, I know I’ve neglected this fair place for a long period of time. But this is just a message to say that I sort of have an excuse for it for a few weeks.

I’ll be off on holiday to Poland early tomorrow morning for nearly two weeks. I’m looking forward to it. I’m meeting up with some Polish friends of mine that moved to our town last year.

We fly into Katowice airport, then by bus to Krakow where we’ll stop for three days and hire a car. We also plan to visit the Auschwitz concentration camp while we’re there. Then we take a long drive north to the Masurian lakes where we stay for seven nights. While we’re there, we’ll visit Gdansk and Sopot. After that, we’ll spend a night in Poland’s capital, Warsaw, before returning home to Britain.

I predict my little sojourn will be a haze of alcohol with the odd educational period in between. I’m looking forward to it and I should have a whale of a time. I’ll be sure to post some pics of my trip on the Images of Lancashire blog on my return.

Toodle pip!

General9 May 2006 / 16:03

Seeing as it’s spring, I’ve decided to give this place a bit of a clean out. So I’ve ditched the drab and dreary blue and put in a nice picture of the Lancashire countryside. What do my readers think? All (sensible and constructive) comments will be gratefully received.

General12 April 2006 / 12:51

Jesus fucking wept.

I have just this week heard about the disgusting concept of Freeganism. The most excellent Irish blogger Twenty Major had a little rant about it. He ended his post with:

The first Freegan I see in Dublin I am going to string him up by his bollocks from the Five Lamps and stone the cunt to death.

I sympathise.

Then I heard more about this vile practice by listening to a programme on the BBC World Service the other night, which I think also had some actual freegans on. Eventually I switched the radio off in utter revulsion and disgust.

What is Freeganism, you may ask? Here’s the general idea (from Wikipedia):

Many freegans get free food by pulling it out of the trash, a practice commonly nicknamed dumpster diving. Freegans claim to find ample amounts of clean, edible food in the garbage of restaurants, grocery stores, and other food-related industries, and this allows them to avoid spending money on products that exploit the world’s resources, contribute to urban sprawl, treat workers unfairly, or disregard animal rights. By dumpster diving, they prevent edible food from contributing to landfills and sometimes feed people and animals who might otherwise go hungry. Many freegans (and strict vegan “dumpster divers”) claim that they are able to eat very well, and even avoid paying for food altogether, due to this practice. Many vegan dumpster divers come to embrace freeganism in order to utilize more of the thrown-out food they find, which would otherwise be needlessly wasted.

Freeganism is not only utterly disgusting, it is unsustainable. If absolutely everything was free, we simply wouldn’t be able to survive. Unless we went back to trading goods rather than money - and what if you don’t have goods (or ‘goods’ of another kind?)? I guess you have to have something else. Oh, I know, what about tokens? We can call them… money! Then all you’ve got to do is get some. So, I guess you’ll have to sell your time, expertise or, if you have them, goods. Um, in about five seconds flat freeganism simply trips over itself.

What a stupid, naive and ill-thought out idea freeganism really is. Bunch of undignified wasters, the lot of them.

General21 February 2006 / 16:24

…I’m back on my own machine with Internet access. Just USB and some other stuff to sort out now. There’s two weeks of blogs to catch up on but… I can’t be bothered, frankly.