The Current Outlook

I watched this on five last night. It’s basically about people who have synthetic dolls as girlfriends. There was a bloke from southern England on it and about three or four from the United States. They were the most barking mad of the lot. Every last one of them need their heads seeing to.

Here’s a more in-depth synopsis (from DigiGuide):

Documentary about the men who use sophisticated life-size dolls for sexual satisfaction and more - such as dates, affection and lifelong companionship. Featuring a young American man who gives his doll daily massages in the home he shares with his disapproving Mum and Dad; a British man who takes his doll out on day trips to the coast where she watches him hang- glide; and two Americans who live with multiple dolls, one of whom shares his eight synthetic lovers with his human girlfriend.

Every single one of the men featured on this programme seemed to be seriously messed up in the head. The way they carefully mollycoddled and had sex with what are pieces of plastic. These guys were real loonies. Where does the production company find these people is what I want to know. With no exceptions, every single one of them scared the living daylights out of me… and I’m a bloke!

Guys and Dolls reminded me of parts of a very bleak (and violent) slasher film called Maniac, where the serial killer in that has dolls. In a dream sequence they evenually all rise up against him.

This programme made for seriously disturbing viewing. If you want television that makes you feel like a good shower afterwards, I nominate Guys and Dolls, for I found it to be a seriously disturbing piece of programming. The scene in which the American chap and his new girlfriend sitting round the table with five plastic dolls is one of the strangest (and creepiest) things I have seen on TV for a long while.

What did I learn tonight? I suddenly feel very normal indeed.

Television host Graham Norton has signed another exclusive contract with the BBC, which will last until 2009.

Why on Earth does the BBC pay this unfunny, talentless cretin anything? Oh yes, I remember now - because it can. The Beeb does have some great stuff on, but don’t expect to find most of it anywhere near the mainstream BBC ONE fodder.

The BBC’s Doctor Who and Bleak House have triumphed at the British Academy Television Awards.

Now, normally I’d think that all these awards ceremonies are is a prolonged bum-tonguing session for the rich and famous and an excuse to fill up the schedules with crap. But I must say that Doctor Who probably does deserve to win after all. Why? Well, your humble blogger likes it of course. Last night’s especially.

Here’s a quick synopsis of the episode for those unlucky buggers that weren’t watching this week’s episode, entitled ‘The Girl in the Fireplace’ (or who hate Doctor Who, heaven knows why) or foreigners (as ever, purloined from DigiGuide):

Madame de Pompadour finds the court at Versailles under attack from sinister clockwork killers. Her only hope of salvation lies with the man who has haunted her dreams since childhood - a mysterious stranger known only as the Doctor.

Easily the best episode of the series so far. Creepy and genuinely moving towards the end. The only minor disappointment was the rather easy way in which the Doctor defeated the bad guys. Oh, and the fact that the droids would have been a bit more menacing if their main form of attack wasn’t weakly waving a potato peeler in your face. Other than that, smashing. It’s probably also worth noting that Sophia Myles’ Madame de Pompadour oozed hotness, which helps.

Just a quick note to say that the second series of Doctor Who will start at 19:15 on Saturday 15 April - next week on Saturday - on BBC ONE. I can’t wait!

And here’s a synopsis (cribbed from DigiGuide):

SCIENCE FICTION SERIES: Doctor Who
Channel: BBC 1 North West
Date: Saturday 15th April 2006
Time: 19:15 to 20:00
Duration: 45 minutes.
New Earth. Series 28, episode 1.
The Doctor and Rose Tyler board the Tardis for new adventures in time and space. But when they visit mankind’s new home, far in the future, they find gruesome secrets hidden inside a luxury hospital. And an enemy thought long since dead, the paper-thin Cassandra, is out for revenge.
Starring: David Tennant, Billie Piper, Camille Coduri, Noel Clarke, Zoe Wannamaker
(New Series, Widescreen, Subtitles, Audio Described, 3 Star)

Comedy The Royle Family is to return to the BBC for a one-off special.

The Royle Family making a comeback, my arse!

Hopefully it should be as funny as the three series and Christmas specials before it, what with me being a (Lancastrian) northerner and all.

Tonight’s edition of Question Time will take place in Gateshead and will be chaired by David Dimbleby.

I can’t be doing with the horrible goblin that is presently known as Hazel Blears, and the rest of the panel look a bit of an irrelevance - to me, at least. I think I’ll give this one a miss; The Road to Guantanamo over on Channel 4 looks far more interesting.

You might be interested in watching Channel 4’s Dispatches tonight, which is about the Government’s attempts at destroying British liberty.

Here’s the DigiGuide entry:

DOCUMENTARY: Dispatches
Channel: Channel 4
Date: Monday 27th February 2006
Time: 20:00 to 21:00
Duration: 1 hour.
Stealing Freedom.
Political commentator Peter Hitchens takes a look at how the recent avalanche of security legislation has affected the civil liberties of ordinary people in Britain. He argues that the government’s measures, designed to protect us from crime and terrorism, are in fact a menace to freedom and not a threat to criminals.

It should be interesting stuff and something to watch before the last episode of the series of Life on Mars over on BBC ONE. Can’t wait!